Heaven and Hell

A property manager dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells him
“You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before
deciding.” So he chooses to check out hell first.

He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People
are dancing and drinking and doing the limbo (and nobody’s doing the Macarena!). Everyone is
laughing and having a great time.

Next St. Peter takes him up to heaven to look around. Everything is white and pristine. People are
speaking softly about philosophy and mathematical formulas. Others are simply contemplative and
serene. He’s bored in about five minutes.

St. Peter then says to the property manager, “I want you to sleep on it and meet me back here in the
morning to let me know your decision.” The next morning he comes back and says to St. Peter,
“Heaven is very nice and all, but hell looks great, so I’ve decided that I want to go to hell”. So St.
Peter puts him on the escalator down to hell.

When he gets there he sees Satan whipping people and there’s fire everywhere and everyone is
screaming in pain. So he goes over to Satan and says “Hey, what gives here? Yesterday I came here
to check the place out and everyone had me partying and it looked like a great time. What
happened?”

Satan looks at him and says “You used to be a property manager so you ought to know the answer
to your own question. Yesterday you were a prospect. Today you’re just another resident!”